Hello & Welcome

I am no stranger to being critical of myself or putting myself last, if I even put myself on the list at all.

My journey of prioritizing my well-being has been long and winding with a lot of starts and stops, because I’m human. I was once a person who would put anyone and anything before myself, especially my husband and kids. I did this for years, because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. I often thought taking care of myself was only for ‘if there was time’.

I am the oldest of three girls. I’ve been academically strong my entire life. For far too long it was the most important thing to me – getting the best grades and expecting myself to be great at everything I did. I carried that approach to life into adulthood for a long time.  All it really did for me though was make me exhausted and fearful of making a mistake or failing at something.

Studying yoga and yoga therapy starting in my late 30s and well into my 40s opened a door for me.  I got a personal journey into self-care, self-love and compassion with all that learning.  It was a chance to learn how to move beyond book learning and being brain-centered (thinking) to being body-centered (noticing sensation/feeling) and learning through experimental practice, honest reflection and self-mentoring. During self-mentoring, I got the chance to practice seeing what I did well, where I struggled and what I could have done differently instead of solely focusing on what I did ‘wrong’ and criticizing every little thing I did or said, which had become my familiar approach.  

I had the chance to discover what deep and nourishing self-care looked like, and I found I needed to be consistent with it to continue to be the version of myself that could hold deep space for yoga therapy clients or respond instead of reacting to situations of stress or unexpected happenings in life.

What did that deep and nourishing self-care look like?

• Journaling to keep things from just spiraling around and around in my head. 

• Being honest with myself during journaling so I could distinguish what was my crap and when I was holding on to other people’s stuff. 

• Seeing a therapist to help me sort out some of the long-held beliefs I had – were they true or were they things others said about me that I picked up and carried.

• Offering myself the same kind words, encouragement and excitement I offered others. 

• Making sure I had some time in silence to notice what was going on inside me instead of filling every waking moment with external stimulation and noise.

• Noticing how often I said yes to taking on things, so I didn’t disappoint someone, when I really wanted to say no.

• Noticing how often I said “I don’t know” when someone asked my preference because it was easier than admitting my preferences and speaking up.

• Owning my needs and wants. 

• Noticing that I was happier and more cheerful when I spent time moving my body in some way – like walking, yoga, or strength training.

My late 40s found my husband and I moving to Kansas City and starting a new chapter in our life together. Planning for that move and then life after the move, I found myself back to those familiar but unsupportive habits of putting myself last and being critical of myself. I could see I was tolerating this from myself, but I wasn’t ready to address it. Once I finally decided it was time, it took a couple of years of deep internal work to help me find that path forward again.  It’s no shock to me that during that time I decided to take training to become a life coach from the heart-centered Beautiful You Coaching Academy.  I knew it would be a deep dive into self-care and personal growth and that it would benefit me greatly. It was exactly what I needed at that time. 

Part of this latest round of self-care and personal growth included taking stock of life as a woman of 50 and asking myself some big questions about what I want from this time of my life.  I’ve reassessed my values and how I want to spend my days.  My purpose for starting a coaching practice now is that I have more I want to contribute to my little corner of the world.  I want something that is mine to nourish and show up for each day while helping others.  It may not make me rich in terms of money, but it will allow me to draw upon the skills and experiences learned over my life and support others to become their favorite versions of themselves.  I will be rich through connection to others and joy of the work I do.

My Personal Values

My values are the pillars and guiding lights in my life.  They are how I desire to live and lead.  They are what I ground into and shape my thoughts, behaviors and actions. 

• Joy: Life is so much brighter and more fun when I intentionally include things that fill me with joy.  My favorite tumbler nearby, warm fuzzy blankets to wrap myself in, color to add life, coffee with a cherished friend, and reading before bed are just a few things that fill my heart with joy!

• Compassion: I believe we all have struggles and are just trying to do our best as we journey through this human experience. Reminding myself that we are all connected and imperfect, expands my nonjudgmental care, concern and support for myself and others.

• Peace: Finding and sustaining a sense of calm and grounding in my heart allows me to stay connected to myself so that I am less swayed by what is going on around me.  It allows me to tune out the ‘noise’ and remain true to myself.

I will not deny the existence, humanity or equality of the LGBTQIA+ community. If you are bothered by this, I invite you to move on along, as we are most likely not a good fit to work together.